Soft Armor & Sacred Grit

I’m coming into my own power—and I’m really enjoying this version of myself.

For years, my dad would tell me things in his blunt-but-loving way:

“If a man wants to buy you dinner, let him. If he wants to fix your floors or your car, let him—but know what’s wrong with it first. Know what to expect.”

At the time, I didn’t always get it. I confused strength with self-denial. I didn’t want to feel like a user or owe anyone anything. I wanted to stand ten toes down on my own.

But I’m learning—it’s not about being a user. It’s about being a woman.

A woman who knows her worth.

A woman who knows what she brings and what she deserves in return.

A woman who can receive—with intention and discernment.

I think about the voices of women I admire and respect, who often told me:

“Soften up.”

“You’re too rough.”

“Let yourself be a lady.”

Even men I’ve known echoed it: “I wish you’d soften a little.”

For a long time, I was defensive. Shielded in toughness. Hard-talking. Covered in masculine grit because life demanded it. People took advantage of my softness, mistook kindness for weakness.

But the truth is—I am soft. I am sensitive. I am kind.

And I’ve finally realized I can protect myself without hardening.

I’m learning to wear my armor differently—still strong, still guarded where needed—but shaped in a way that fits me. Feminine. Powerful. Graceful. The kind of armor that commands respect without raising its voice. The kind of armor that glows.

And I’m smiling now because I can see the process.

And I’m in tears because I can feel the healing.

I’m extending that same grace to my daughter. She is bold, brilliant, soft, silly, and fierce. I pray I’m raising her to stay whole, brave, and unapologetically herself.

I’m stepping into the woman I always dreamed of being, not pretending anymore, not performing, just becoming.

I’m shedding what no longer serves me—but keeping the lessons. Emerging from the cocoon, wings still drying, but beautiful all the same.

And it’s scary. And exciting. And overwhelming.

But I’m here for it.

I feel promoted—not just in title, but in spirit. People see my potential. And my only responsibility is to live up to it while staying true to my own expectations.

So here’s where I am right now:

• Practicing discipline.

• Rebuilding consistency.

• Dancing with my own softness.

• Honoring my grit.

I’ve done the hard things before. I just got comfortable. Busy-looking but not fully doing.

But now? I’m showing up again. For real. For me.

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✨ Smart & Sassy Note to Readers:

Sis, you don’t have to trade softness for strength—you can be both, sacred and fierce.

The sass? Stop mistaking your glow for weakness. Your softness is not a liability; it’s your secret weapon.

👉 Tell me in the comments: how are you balancing softness and grit in your own life? And subscribe for weekly Smart & Sassy reminders to keep you glowing in your power.