Failure Is An Option

Growing up, many of us were told: “Failure is not an option.” On the contrary-failure is absolutely an option, but only if you’re willing to learn from it.

In science, we experiment and fail.

In engineering, we design and fail.

In technology, we create and fail.

In math, we try and fail.

Failure is part of the process. Yet the slogan “failure is not an option” creates pressure and anxiety, making perfection seem like the only acceptable outcome. We tell children they don’t have to be perfect—while in the same breath telling them failure is unacceptable. Talk about confusing.

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Here is the truth: Failure is an option!

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In my classroom, I remind students that when they fail, they should do it with confidence and grace. Why? Because failure is proof that they are learning, stretching, and developing new skills. I also remind myself of that same lesson—it’s taken me years to embrace it.

As a young adult, I believed failure was an option. But somewhere between earning my master’s degree and building a career, I began shrinking into who society wanted me to be: an intelligent but submissive Black woman. That has never been me. I was raised to stand firm, speak up, and advocate for what I believe—even if I’m “wrong.”

That’s why I encourage my students to speak confidently, even when they don’t feel certain. My former students can testify: I never let them believe that being “wrong” was the end of the world. Instead, it’s an opportunity to fail forward.

Failure shows up everywhere. Teachers fail when lessons don’t land. Parents fail when their protection feels like smothering. We fail to pay a bill, to get to work on time, or to chase a dream. Failure is woven into our humanity.

For years, I told myself I was afraid of success, comparing it to a fear of heights. But really, I feared failing and falling. What I’ve learned is this: when we fall, we don’t just stay down—we climb back up, stronger and wiser than before.

Failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s the training ground for it.

I’m reminded of this every time I watch Piglet, my daughter, step up and down from her little stool. The first time she missed the step, I cried right along with her. But I comforted her, whispering, “It’s okay.” Now, when she tries something new, I hear her telling herself: “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

And she’s right. It is okay. It’s more than okay—it’s necessary. Because it may take two, three, or four times to get it right. What matters is that you keep trying.

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✨ Smart & Sassy Note to Readers:

Let’s be real: Failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s the tuition you pay for growth. Sis, stop hiding your L’s—own them, learn from them, and turn them into power moves.

👉 Tell me in the comments: what’s one “fail forward” moment you’ve had lately? And don’t forget to subscribe for more Smart & Sassy reminders to keep climbing.